i have to pretend because of you !!!

why all this I must face. why I should pretend to yourself why you do me like this. one answer from you is difficult to express to me. 7 years later this wait is just waste my time, do it right. only one answer from you as I want. how else you want to go from me, not quite far away? i know where are you and you know actually i am close to you.  is it not enough 7 years lah bukan sekejap.  and i don't want one day you keep quite like that without certainty.  sometime I feel like I want just give you 'penampar je' huh.  I admit this is not one of you, this is the way that I choose to love you. I always let my heart be broken even though I know it all will not respond to me.  Enough for me to see you happy with you own life. first memories are still fresh reminded, but let me keep it may be a time I would remove all the memories. . .

i have to pretend to myself.  pretend to cover all the pain I faced before, pretend to my heart, pretend what I talk bout love.  its really fake, fake, fake. . . selama mana aku boleh bertahan.  sometime went i see you i feel you like bitch, you are damn, evil, and threat i dont like you.  but why i feel all my feeling bout you is pretend.  is it i pretend bout my love, is it i afraid with love or i do not love him. . .

i'm getting scared, i'm scared of love

p/s although I am destined not to him but it will not change for me to see him happy, even with other women i just want you happy. mybe i heve to learn to forget him and live like everyone else. it may be more cheer from the hurts.  that not means i became fixated on you it just i say it pass.