Assamualaikum,
now I in a little confused. I need to continue or stop even though i had to overcome in directly it may be alike kind which I think is now. Now I only think about the future of me. this is enough for me or that it is only the fun of it to me. maybe I should not think about these things now, but in reality I will start my last semesta (5) in this 11/6/12. hemm too early right for me to finish my education. I love the causes that i chooce 1s before i to go into UiTM. i really like this causes but there may be something less, or not sure waiting for me especially for my future. I'am not blame or not happy with this i'm just thinking about this.
impossible if there are people who go to the university just as she wanted to have fun and must be people who entered the university has a goal. like me I have my goals, my spirit very strong at first, but there is some very disturbing things that I think of my thoughts 'oh ni bukan tempat kau lah, what can you do? you can do like me do now ha? like . . .. ah that time i fell like you are bitch person. You do not have anything, live like people who go shooping. lepas beli jom balik arhh.
I noticed a lot of things but I remained silent. just watch and think. when my brain over time this will not work because its full of things I should not hear. a lot of talk that makes me feel fed up with all this. ahhh just like wanted to kill myself just now. ya may be right tempat ni mungkin hanya sementara untuk aku berada dekat sini. macam yang semua cakap i'am not creative person. ya that right. itulah realiti bukan fantasi. apa je ye yang boleh aku buat. semau tu aku belum nampak samalah aku belum nampak masa depan aku mungkin bukan rezeki aku unuk terus kan apa yang aku dah usahakan. tapi mungkin ia rezeki aku whose know. rezeki ada dekat mana-mana je yang penting kita usaha dan jangan berputus asa. tak heranlah kalau kau lebih bagus sebab you have a art that is i do not have.
i always write when I feel down and sad about something that i can say directly to that person. i was a little sad and disappointed when some people see me as empty when he/she is proud of what he/she has. especially people close to me. of course i would feel so.
i just can't sleep tonight i'am just thinking what will happen if i take this way. ada orang cakap you are women takkan nak buat kerja lelaki. ehh hello ramai kot perempuan yang berjaya dalam bidang ni apa perempuan juga boleh buat kerja lelaki. why not me one of her. just give me a time insyaAllah i will do my best.
I want very successful as anyone else to be proud of. not only to parents but to other people especially those who do not have term that I will succeed. when I thought no one was beside to me and want to give a motivate to me i'm very disappointed and i'm really down. don't know how to say. Damn !! I'm clueless actually I should continue it. with what I'm saying it showed that I just gave up with what I happen and with what will happen. I should not have to feel so.
i wish that i can achieve my goals, what I expect. even if only a diploma. perhaps one day I will continue to study , maybe in other majors may be in the same course for a degree. perhaps i will chooce the right couses and will make my parents proud with me. InsyaAllah, Amin.
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